


In Another World

by oliverbrnch



Series: Spencer Reid Whump [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Autistic Spencer Reid, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Spencer Reid Angst, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:41:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29539758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliverbrnch/pseuds/oliverbrnch
Summary: There are just too many striking similarities between Doctor Spencer Reid and Nathan Harris.
Relationships: Nathan Harris & Spencer Reid
Series: Spencer Reid Whump [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2170218
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	In Another World

Nathan Harris was Spencer Reid in an alternate universe. 

He could see himself in that boy’s terrified eyes, just shades darker than his own.   
Nathan was an echo of a young Spencer Reid, all mop-top curls the color of bitter coffee, wide, dark eyes set in his skull paired with heavy circles underneath that spoke of many sleepless nights. The way he held himself, the quiet way he spoke, his voice thick with desperation, fear, sorrow. 

Spencer had never met another boy quite like him, and wasn’t it telling that that boy’s enemy was his own mind, the voices inside of it, the dark void he vehemently tried to deny? 

He knew what it felt like, to be afraid of his own mind. 

Ever since the first time his mother kicked him out of their little stucco house on Lone Mountain Road in the dead of winter, thinking he was a government spy sent there to assassinate her, Spencer knew no fear stronger than that of what the human mind and, more specifically, his could contain. 

Because Spencer Reid had to work to be the mind-mannered, gentle, compassionate, sweet man you saw before you. 

His brain held unimaginable fury, raw, destructive sorrow, sharp self-hatred, wrathful vengeance, never mind the unintentionally volatile intrusive thoughts. Spencer kept that locked up tight, crammed into the back of his mind, and he acted only with purpose, carefully selected to be kind, gentle, compassionate, never wrathful. 

But Nathan? 

Nathan was the embodiment of what Spencer could become. 

What he was capable of if he ever let the void inside of him come alive. 

Spencer Reid had feared himself for twenty-six years before he met Nathan Harris, held his unresponsive body as he tried to banish his own evil from the world, and wondered if he didn’t have such a bad idea. 

But Spencer prayed that Nathan had a chance. 

He hoped, he wanted to believe that Nathan had a chance to be someone good, someone kind, someone not to be feared. 

After all, if he didn’t think Nathan had a chance, what did that mean for him? Was he simply destined to live his mother’s life? Was he destined to live Nathan’s?

He didn't know. 

And the uncertainty was the scariest thing of all.


End file.
